On Mother’s Day, and the Shape of Our Lives
The author’s parents and son, 2015
My mom never gave me much career advice.
She was many things—a wonderful homemaker, a generous hostess, a kind friend and patient teacher—but she was not a businesswoman. She passed away two years ago after a long battle with brain cancer.
If you have lost a parent at a young age, you know the hole inside of you that comes when you realize you’ll never have the opportunity to ask for one more piece of advice or wisdom or perspective. And that’s how I felt when I was thinking about Mother’s Day coming up in just a few days.
But as I was thinking about her life and legacy, I realized that she actually did give me a whole lot of business advice, day in and day out.
You don’t quit until your work is done.
My mom homeschooled 7 children (!!) in the depths of muggy Florida, and we knew we did not go play until the work was done. Recess consisted of hanging laundry on the clotheslines and while we complained (a lot), we knew that doing your work and following through on your commitments was just the expectation of life in our house.
Business operates in much of the same way. When you say you’re going to do something, you do it. Simple as that. I think nowadays they call it “extreme ownership,” but the reality is it’s just following through on your word.
Generosity trumps wealth: whatever you have, you share.
Even though we grew up extremely poor (7 kids and a pastor’s salary will do that to you), my parents invited someone over for Sunday lunch almost every single week. This is not an exaggeration. There were maybe 7 or 8 Sundays out of the year that we did not have guests at our table. Open hands, open heart.
And I’ve learned the same principle translates to business. If you operate with generosity, trust, and open hands, it will come full circle. There’s been many times I’ve recommended or referred candidates without a fee, just because it’s the right thing to do in a specific situation. I learned that from my mom.People matter and how you treat them makes a difference in their day.
She always went out of her way to say a kind word, to encourage or to help. No matter what the situation was, she wanted the other person to be at ease and to feel at home. She would write hand-written notes of encouragement to those in her circle. She gave of herself to make other people better.
The reality is, she gave me all the career advice I needed. Every morning, I tell my kids “Love God, love others, and work hard.” The rest will take care of itself.